Graduate Blog #3 The Journey continues after the TTC in Thailand
Over the past week I have been craving that abundance of healing energy that I felt on the yoga teacher training Thailand course. The ‘healing’ came from the sun, the air, the community, the people, the peaceful jungle, the food and probably most of all the love and support from other students and teachers on the course. Actually whilst typing this I have a vivid memory of the last healing chant circle we did together. Wow, what a beautiful moment that was! Take me back please! I am still grateful I have the whole experience of the month to remember and think about when I am feeling depleted.
Teaching classes after the yoga teacher training in Thailand
The class I taught this week was joyous. The most confident I have been yet. Although still a ‘newbie’ when instructing I feel like a good teacher. I again had brilliant feedback from both students and the managers at the gym who said they have heard nothing but great things about the yoga classes. What I am really enjoying is
constructing my own classes and creating sequences and flows that work well. Out of all the groups/or classes I have taught since being back in England, this was my favourite. The theme was emotional release. We did variations of lunges, hip openers and forward bends. The students come out of the class feeling great, me even more so!
As I mentioned before in the last blog the rate of growth I have experienced in such a short space of time astounds me. My whole life has been literally insane. When I was 16 – 18 my anxieties and depression morphed into a severe disorder called BDD (Body Dysmorphic Disorder). This condition has been a tough journey, a roller coaster of never ending manic spells of extrovert and introvert ‘bad’ choices. Not being able to go out of the house, not be able to be around people, not being able to look in the mirror, I was also governed by extreme sensitivity and empathy, which I have since learnt, is not a negative thing if channelled correctly. I know now the way I feel energy is not wrong or weird, it is just real. Over the past year or so for no know reason I started having moments of ‘insight’, which made me start to seek. I found my path eventually, as I believe all of us do. I didn’t believe in fate until about 3 months ago, when I was sitting in the lecture of the yamas listening to Rory speak, thinking ‘the universe shaped me through all of these experiences, the universe kept my flame alight for seeking knowledge, the universe continuously grounded my philosophy of love and kindness even though I had been dragged down more than 6 ft. under, the universe led me to my month long yoga teacher training in Thailand. And since then my entire universe has changed.
Fate into awakening?? Awakening into fate?? My Yoga Teacher Training in Thailand experience has fully altered my perception, of not only myself, of life, but also the ideology of fate and all of fates familiar clichés. I spent, and I hate to say it, all my life in self-doubt and self-loathing until fate awakened me onto my path. I recently feel much more feminine energy too, I feel grown. Other than this chest infection I feel strong. I believe this is because I am ‘becoming’. Each day I am stronger mentally, physically and spiritually. My class this night has inspired my self-practice too. I am really looking forward to the week ahead. I shall let my self-practice guide me into what theme I choose to offer in next week’s class. Namaste
June 3rd 2016